The Stress of “Fixing” Others -The Role of an Empath

Have you ever thought, “Everyone calls me to fix their problems”? Are you the fixer in your group?

Having the empathic ability to understand the emotions of others makes you a light and comfort to them.

If you are heavily empathic, distinguish between having empathy versus sympathy towards others. In the office, I see patients who have an uncanny ability to read a person and their situation. However, there is a difference in feeling a persons emotions and then trying to FIX them. FIXING is connected to sympathy, “I’ve got to fix this!” Sympathy is a GOOD THING, but not everyone is meant to be a fixer.

Your gift may be to have extreme amounts of empathy, understand, and then guide a person to where he or she can go for help. That in itself is an extremely important role that is needed in our culture. The path you take in life may be geared to guiding than “fixing”. Becoming aware of your gifts and becoming EFFICIENT with the energy to put toward your gift keeps you from BURNING OUT. We all try to do too much at one time, get exhausted, and then feel guilty about it. Feeling and fixing creates too much stimulation to the SYMPATHETIC nervous system which puts us into a fight or flight response.

The brain works more efficiently by doing single tasks, not multi-tasking…having empathy and sympathy at the same time. If you are empathetic, and give great advice and suggestions, sit back and check yourself. You are doing your role as a guide; you don’t always have to fix it. Each of us in our culture has a specific role, like members of a body, a community. We all need to understand that each member blesses another member by using their specific gifting.

Thoughts to consider:
1. Learn more about yourself, your role, your personality type.
2. When you feel the emotions of others, consider if it is your role to help guide.
3. If you do help guide with information, you may be able to give advice on steps to help.
4. Don’t feel responsible for the emotions of others, just live in peace knowing you are fulfilling a role.
5. If you identify the problems of others, do your best not to try and FIX IT yourself.
6. Consider and meditate on what are the best routes outside of yourself to help them along.

You will be surprised how your stress drops by knowing your role and not taking on the role of everyone else. The world thrives when we realize the strength that each member brings, and we act as a unit.

Illustration by @lindsayblaze